you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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