I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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