ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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