i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
The air taste purple.
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