Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize