I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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