Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
