Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  how was the sex?

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  well, there's that.

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  (618): how was the sex? (1-618): he smelled like pickles and burnt hair. (618): well, there's that. http://tfl.nu/wrio
  Replies (22) Good night (780) Bad night (3694)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.

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  (443): and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life. http://tfl.nu/6kb7
  Replies (8) Good night (4219) Bad night (730)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey kate, how is it?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.

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  (267): Hey kate, how is it? (610): sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving. http://tfl.nu/94qm
  Replies (14) Good night (791) Bad night (2978)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.

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  (785): Mines from giving head on hardwood floors. http://tfl.nu/x8b4
  Replies (25) Good night (3276) Bad night (930)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.

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  (717): I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this. http://tfl.nu/8qff
  Replies (6) Good night (5044) Bad night (1010)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?

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  (401): when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed? http://tfl.nu/66dn
  Replies (15) Good night (911) Bad night (6628)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING

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  (404): just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING http://tfl.nu/vg2h
  Replies (18) Good night (5989) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

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  (360): It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice. http://tfl.nu/ciw3
  Replies (5) Good night (2267) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.

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  (509): walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her. http://tfl.nu/knz9
  Replies (9) Good night (5833) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.

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  (337): Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird. http://tfl.nu/9vhr
  Replies (12) Good night (2455) Bad night (1189)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.

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  (330): After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator. http://tfl.nu/loee
  Replies (5) Good night (1714) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.

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  (905): Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today. http://tfl.nu/u9so
  Replies (37) Good night (1289) Bad night (2970)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero

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  (847): i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero http://tfl.nu/upbm
  Replies (16) Good night (2542) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog

  (989): View more from Michigan

  They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.

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  (989): I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog (989): They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries. http://tfl.nu/meap
  Replies (5) Good night (1251) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you

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  (916): BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you http://tfl.nu/atej
  Replies (1) Good night (996) Bad night (381)

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