I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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