My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.