Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(501): View more from Arkansas

My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.

Fav 56 1100 5131
share tweet
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

Fav 4 983 3650
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(229): View more from Georgia

It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

Fav 47 1086 5775
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.

Fav 86 4987 1290
share tweet
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.

Fav 53 6957 964
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.

Fav 56 8853 1336
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(253): View more from Washington

You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.

Fav 8 4120 1146
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

Fav 3 650 895
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.

Fav 2 386 183
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT