yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.