I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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