Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
only you would photoshop your dick
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.