We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
