he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize