I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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