Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
