That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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