you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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