there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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