alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
did i just pee glitter
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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