i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
