Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
