im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
