i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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