Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
