Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
