Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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