she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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