Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
