I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
