Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
