We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
