Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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