I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
