just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
