Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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