Kiss
Puke
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
