just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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