All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
