go do what you do best...puke behind churches
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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