you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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