she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize