Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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