Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
