ya dads aren't the best wingmen
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.