Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.