I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize