I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize