i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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