everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Randomize
