YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
