Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
