I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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