I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
