'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
