I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
