apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
