I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
